So I was in out local Natural Foods store, and saw this Cereal, and just thought it was funny, So I exclaimed in my best Robin from Batman Voice---Holy Crap, and of course my wife was like oh yeah your funny i bet your the first person to ever say that, the guy stocking the isle was like maybe at this store at least, we just stocked that for the first time today.  yeah me, i just think its a great name for a cereal, but i don't think i'll ever try it.  I just can't see myself saying hey honey will you pass me the crap or hey honey this crap is amazing..

hmmmm, my better half, is better at this then i am, but i just want to say that i love, i adore my common law wife, i love being with her, i love looking at her, i love touching her, i love talking to her, i love sharing my life with her, sharing my soul and whatnot with her, i love the fact that i can just be me with her, i love that fact that she brings me peace, i love the fact that i feel comfortable with her, i love her
i love the fact that i'm not mad with her, that she knows me, she understands me, i just love her she is the best i love how she makes me feel, i love how she wants to be with me... she is defianetely better at this stuff them me... but i just want to say that she is the best around

Hmmmmmm Bacon, I do love you so, always and forever, you never did me wrong, you've always been there for me... i love you bacon... even when everyone else turned their back on me, you've always been there with your sweetness, your saltiness, your greatness, oh bacon how i love you so...

and folks last night while lying in bed next to my wonderfull wife to be, right before i went to sleep, i started to think to myself, i said self, your happy, your content, life is good..... life is awesome.  sure there are stresses in your life, sure your not totally happy at your job, but all in all, life is awesome, you have an awesome wife, you have and awesome life, and that is totally awesome....

Man times are tough, really tough people are out of work, employers aren't hiring, and those that are aren't giving out decent wages, cost of everything is going up, man times are tough real tough, and now even klingons have to beg for food, what is going on here.  I thought this was the land of opportunity, whatever happened to that, what happened to the love what happened to the chance of bettering yourself... what is going on here, can someone help me out here, i though America, was going to be the next big hope, now it seems it is the next big failure of mankind.  unless your allready rich, or are willing to step all over everyone else you are destined to live a life of poverty.  I just don't get it, what happened here, what is happening here, will it ever change will it ever get better for us, for those of us who are unwilling to hurt others to get ahead.  will it ever get to a place of what our forefathers dreamed it would be

Sometimes I don't always get it, sometimes i don't always know the way, but  you do, and sometimes i don't always act like i'm listening when you tell me, but i am.  like you i'm adjusting to this new life, new way of thinking, sometimes i still act and the think the way that i did before i met you, but i'm working on it.  Sometimes it may seem that i'm not but i am, old habit die hard, i know what i'm needing to do, and i'm working towards that goal... i love you, and i always will

ok its hot, freaking hot out there, is in the 80's and its only may, what the hell is July going to be like.  It's going to be one hell of a hot summer this year.  this sucks...

So ya looking for an easy way to save money on the family budget, have I got a place for you, the Dollar Tree.  Dez and I shop there all the time, they have all that we need to get by, and they have all you need to make cheap and easy meals the whole family can enjoy.  In fact just the other day, we were able to feed a family of six for 5 bucks, now mind you we did not gorge ourselves, we ate sensibly.  We had Chicken Teriyaki with vegetables over rice.  We got a bag of rice, a bag of vegetables, a jar of Teriyaki sauce, and two boxes of Teriyaki chicken.   it was amazing I must say so myself.... so if you struggling with the food budget check them out, we can make a lot of meals for around 5 bucks, not a person but for the whole meal.  its so awesome...

are you out of your Vulcan Mind, I mean really what the hell is going on out there eh.... what is happening in the world right now.  Why in this day and age are we debating in congress about health care, birth control, and when a women is actually pregnant.  I just don't get it, why in this day and age, are our teacher struggling to teach, they don't have the money to buy supplies for their classrooms, why are there so many potholes in our streets, why are there starving citizens in our streets, why does our goverment care more about the poor in other countries then are own.. i just don't get it... we like to say we are the greatest country in the world, we are the richest country in the world, but yet we can't even take care of our own.  why is it that not all of can afford even the basics to survive.  i just don't get it, what has become of us, what is wrong with us, why are we more concerned about which celebrity is fucking which celebrity, when we should be more concerned about the kids and why they are all joining gangs and don't feel that they have a future anymore.  I just don't get why our goverment wants to blame our president for the jobless rate in this country when they passed laws that allows companies to farm out all our jobs overseas.  why our govement gives tax breaks to companies that are making record breaking profits, and still can provide jobs for people, i just don't get it... why there is a war on women, when it is women who really are the backbone of everything we do. without women we would be here, without women we could not be who we are, why are we fighting against them, i just don't get it.... what is wrong with us

why, i just ask why
why are we here
why do we struggle
why is there pain
why is there oppression
why does karma take so long
why does good things happen to good people
why doesn't it all make sense
why do i feel like a mindless drone sometimes
why do i feel like just another brick in the wall
why do i wonder
why do i care
why can't i see the reason
why can't I see the why
why do people hate
why do people kill
why do people destroy
why must some live in poverty so others may live in luxury
why are there starving kids in aftrica
why are there starving kids here in the Springs
why do i wonder
why do i feel
why do i fear
why do i fantasize
why is there corruption
why do some people abuse others
why do some people feel lost
why do some people feel hopeless
why do we people feel disconnected in a connect world
why do our leaders feel its ok not to lead us
why do our leaders feel it is ok to take advantage of us
why do our leaders feel it is ok to abuse their power
why are there terrorist
why can't we live in peace
why is there chaos in the order
why is there order in the chaos
why
why do i ramble
why do i want to write but can't think of what to say
why do i feel lost sometimes
why do i wish to be heard but have nothing to say
why do i have something to say but can't be heard
why do i get myself some tea
why do i work a job that bugs me
why did i get myself in these financial straits
why can't i understand
why can't i find the knowledge that i seek
why is there such a discrepency
why not have a coke and a smile
why not feel
why is there crying
why not more laughing to you cry
why not see the rainbow
why not see the gold
why not see the pleasure
why concentrate on the negatives
why not conentrated on the positives
why am i asking why
why not ask when or how or what or even where
why not use some math
why not take a bike bride
why not....
why....................not

Ya know a sad part of our modern day workplace is that it has become so automated that even a well trained monkey could do it.  Granted the picture is of a ape, but ya know what i mean.   You really think about it, most jobs have become some sort of factory work, intellectual in nature maybe but still a factory job none the less.   Ya take the hugely growing field of Call Center for instance, sure a lot of them have been farmed out, but there still is a ton here in the states, especially where i live, Colorado Springs.  there are tons of Call Centers.  And, what really is call center work, but an intellectual facotry.   I mean you sit at a desk all day with a phone in your ear, and you pump out some sort of product, sure its called sales or customer service, or even tech support.  but your just pumping the same product out minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day.  its just factory work.   Besides maybe some service based jobs like electricians or plumbers, most of our jobs are very very very repetitive, and are just pumping out some sort of product.   we have all become mindless robots in our jobs.  I think that is why most of us are not satisfied with our jobs, they are no providing us with a sens of pride anymore.  we don't feel like we are really accomplishing anything or bettering mankind anymore.  we are not really working towards a common goal anymore.  the only goal we are working towards is the raise in the value of our companies stock.    and then you take in considereation that job benefits seem to be going down and down and down every year as the cost of health insurance goes up and up and up every year.  no wonder you hear stories of people going postal at their jobs from time to time.   what is the answer to all of this i don't know. this is just an observation that is all.

ok I have a crazy idear, but its just so crazy it just might work.  Instead of having national elections for the President, why don't we have a Presidential Death Match.  You take the two presidential hopefulls, you throw them in the octagon, the one that walks out alive, is the President for the next four years.   Only the strongest can run this country.   Think about it, then it will also helps get out of our national debt, I mean who wouldn't pay to watch that happen.  And if they can prove themselves worry, then of course they will be able to take on Congress and actually get some stuff taken care of.   hmmmm what do ya think.

Technically we are just living together, we are not legally married, but we are technically engaged to be married, I love her and i consider and feel as if she were my wife. I feel as if we are married, my worries are her worries, her worries are my worries. we work through our differences, and we are working together towards a common goal.  I want to spend the rest of my life with her, i want to grow old with her, i want to be with her to the day i die.  i love this woman with all my hear and being.  we have so much in common, we have connected, we have clicked, i feel as if we were one soul.  what is marriage but a piece of paper, what is important is what is in my heart and what is in her heart. our hearts are are one beating organ.  we are engaged so that i can show the world that other men cannot approach her as a piece of meat that they can try to conquer anymore.  I have already won that battle, i did not conquer her, she allowed me into her life, she allowed me into her heart, i asked and she said yes.  i almost lost this opportunity becuase i was scared, and stupid, i was scared of being hurt again, and i was too stupid to realize what a wonderfull woman that she is.  i'm glad she gave me another chance, i'm glad she took a chance on me... without her i am nothing with her i am whole i love you baby

I use to be what you would call and alcoholic, I used to drink to survive my day, when i got off from work i would drink till i passed out and puked, and not always in that order, I used to also be a pot head.  Now i'm clean and sober. I look back on who I was and i'm glad i'm not not person anymore. I was a dark and mad person back then. I was not a happy person, I was a depressed person. I drank because i was mad and depressed, I drank to become numb, so I wouldn't have to think about what was making my mad and depressed. only problem was that the drinking would make whatever problems I was dealing with,then this would make me want to drink more, it was a viscous cycle i was in.  I was what you would call a self medicated douchebag.  sure at the time i thought i was having a good time swilling away the beers night after night after night. but looking back at it, i didn't have a lot of fun at all, all i got from it was a lot of hangovers, a messed up stomach, and a shit ton of debt.   sometimes i wish i never picked up that first beer, but i can't take back the past, all i can do is take care of the future, and never go back there again.  sure having an amazing wife helps out a lot, but it isn't just her why i don't drink anymore, I have an amazing daughter, she is why i stopped drinking in the first place, I woke up one day with a hangovr, and look at her, and thought to myself, I can't be this father, I can't be the alcoholic dad, that just keeps the cycle of alocoholism going.  So I gave up for her, and i stay sober for me.  I like not puking everyday, I like knowing what i did the night or even the hour before, I like having money in my pocket, I like not having to figure out how i go home, or what happened to my car, I like not having to constantly apologizing for my drunken antics, I like being able to look myself in the mirror and saying deep down your a decent guy. I like having real friends in my, i like it when my daughter calls me the best dad in the world, i like having a wife that loves and respects me, I like being able to control myself.  i like having solid bowel movements, i like not having to clean up puke off my carpet on a weekly basis, i like having my car not smell like puke on a daily basis.  I like who i am now, and i'll never go back.  i'll never go back to who i was then, i like who I am now...that whole time i was looking for answers at the bottom of the next bottle that never came, because they were never there.  now that i am sober and have clarity of life, I understands the answers come within me, not within Guiness or Jack.  granted i enjoyed the feeling from being drunk, and I loved the flavour of a good crafted ale, or a strong shot of Jack.  but i don't miss them like i once thought i would when i first decided to be sober, now i just reminisce about good times, but then again it doesn't take me long to do that, since there really weren't a lot of good times back then. .... only snips of happiness from time to time... now every sober day is a good day, every sober day is a day to be remembered.......  i say good bye to the man i was and fully embrace the man I have become... again it does help to have a loving daughter, and a wife who loves and understands me who will always be there for me... if i'm ever tempted to visit that place again, i think of them, and say to myself... is having a beer worth it.... is having a shot worth it, really, is it really worth, taking the chance of loosing what you have, loosing what you have become, and i tell myself hell now it isn't...and i don't go back there... i won't i can't...... i love this life that i have. i don't have to drink to be numb anymore, i don't need to be numb anymore....life is good....life is so good.....besides i have bacon and coffee... hmmmm coffee i do love the coffee, nothing like a caffeine buzz, eh hee hee hee hee hee... i know i have an addictive personality, and i watch myself with what i do and who i do it with....this will always be a battle for me, something i will always have to deal with, at any time, one just bad day, one just bad moment, and i could be there again... i know this and i watch myself, i watch how i act, how I react, and i just keep up the good fight. because its woth it in the end to stay sober..... i don't need to be numb anymore and i'm so glad for this....

So today children, I want to talk about something that royally pisses me off.  Politicians, I hate this time of year or at least this time of year every four years.  Presidential Election Season.   Why do I hate it so much, simply because its all lies, and hatred.  I hate how one party will try to get us to hate the other party because oh they are doing this bad thing, but in reality, they both are doing this particular bad thing. the one party just wants us to take our attention off the bad thing they are doing, and put the spotlight on the other party for doing the same bad thing.  I hate how they all flip flop their ideals according to their audience at the time... one time they will say this to a certain group, then the very next day they will say the polar opposite to another group of people.  I hate all the empty promises, like if i'm elected this huge problem we are all facing will magically go away instantly and there will be no reprocussions for my actions...  I hate this, once just once i'd like to see a politician just say. ok folks this shit is fucked up, i don't know if i can fix it.. hell i don't know if any person can, but i'll do my damnest to try, and yes it will take a long time and a lot of scacrifice to do it.   also I'd wish a politician would just admit, hell we are going to have to raise taxes, this shit cost money people. we can't fix the roads, pay for healthcare, the elderly, the disadvantage, the army, and everything if we don't have the money to do it.  I just hate how politicians, think we are all too stupid to realize the truth...just tell me the truth people. 

Douglas Adams in his famous Five Book Trilogy, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, once wrote, the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything is "42".    Some say the meaning of life is "Love".  Others follow, the verbiage of their chosen religion.   Me,   I grew up thinking that the meaning of life, was growing up, going to college, getting a good paying job, get married, get a house, raise a family, retire and die.  

Now that I am grown, and I have not followed the lifestyle that was engrained in me, by my parents, I"m starting to come up with my own meaning to life.  I look at my current situation of life.  I'm divorced and currently living with my wife to be, I have kids that don't live with me, I don't own where I live, I have a job, but it would not be considered a good paying job, and I have debt.  However I am happy, and I'm starting to realize this is the meaning to life to me.  Just being happy with the situation you in.  This is my life and created it, I made the choices and decisions that led me to be at the place I am in my life.  It has taken me a long time, and a lot of what people like to call soul searching to realize this.  I created my life, and I'm happy with it.  Sure it helps me that i'm with a wonderfull woman that loves me for who I am, and just wants me to be happy, she wants me to be me, and not someone else.    so maybe love does factor into the meaning of life, maybe even a belief system also factors into it as well, even if that belief is non belief.  all i know is i'm at peace with myself and the world right not, and that cool.

I don't know what i want to do with this blog, what  I want to accomplish from it. where I want this blog to go, but i have decided I will write something in it every day, even if it is just to say hi to the internet.  I have always wanted to write a book, but i have never been able to do it... so this blog will be a start.... till i see you again have a great day

Just a rant today about cops, and the fact that I hate bad cops, I hate cops that are on the take, cops that look the other way, cops that abuse their power, cops that break the law in anyway, cops that blare their lights and sirens to run red lights, cops that use their copness to get free coffee and donuts, cops that steal, cops that sell drugs, cops that rape, cops that are involved in child pornography, i hate cops like this, because it destroys my faith our system. it takes away from what cops are suppose to be and do, they are suppose to protect and serve, not spread fear and hate.   i hate bad cops.  

life

So, um, then she said....

so anywho, new to this whole blogging thingy eh, i know i know, i'm like late to the party and all, so late the party was last week and the house has already been condemned....

but anywhooo here I go, I used to be depressed and would write about that, now i'm not, and i have a hard time writing, when i'm happy with life and all seems well even though life still tries to bring me down i'm very cool with it... I got a wonderful woman now, that supports me and is there for me, and that is awesome... but like you want to hear about that eh.. hee hee hee

so um, the world is my oyster right
not a big fan of oysters, so the world is my bacon
i love bacon,
bacon is how i met my lady, she loves bacon too
i was on one of them der dating websites, and looking at her profile she said she was a big fan of sex and bacon... i was like hey i'm a big fan of sex and bacon... never tried them together but what the hay..... but seriously folks... i love bacon

um i need to clear my head more before i try to seriously blog... but i love you all

Hi there

um so how's it going eh....
So this is blogging eh.
and stuff....

but seriously folks HI
this is just a test run, real stuff to come soon